Culinary Deliverance!

After exhausting all other alternatives, including recounting my vintage matchstick collection, arranging my music library chronologically by composer and trimming those little peeling flakes of skin above my cuticles, I resigned myself to reading the most recent CCSC email. You know what I'm talking about-- those long-winded, inarticulate announcements for which any sane person would have long ago set up automatic forwarding directly to the spam folder?

Of course you don't; those emails have roughly the same circulation audience as a medieval town crier, namely anybody within earshot who’s unable to get away. You probably have a similar chance of contracting the plague through it as well. It ranks right up there in usefulness as those autodialed voice messages you found on your ROLM phone freshman year before you learned the phone actually functioned best when unplugged and stuffed into the darkest recess of your closet.

But I digress. This one was different. Wedged between fantastic events such as “Does Your Mama Know? Staged Readings of Coming Out Stories” and a walking tour of the IRS tax-form naming department (followed by an information session) was a little tidbit that caught my eye: IRON CHEF: COLUMBIA.


Be sure to bring requisition form CT-H 1040A to the Q&A session following the tour!

At last! An opportunity to share our kitchen-creations with the world! Instead of just our cohabiters, we will soon have an entire audience down whose throats we can impose our iron will. The campus will tremble under our culinary rule! Should anybody wish to challenge us for control of the Coctaucracy (and to spare you from wading through the elocutionary shit-swamp that is the email), I have excerpted the relevant details about the competition below.


Look on our works, ye Mighty, and despair!

---

10. IRON CHEF: COLUMBIA

Friday, February 27th at 5pm*

Lerner Hall Party Space

Join the CCSC Campus Life Committee for a celebration of Columbia University culinary talent. We're inviting 20 teams of 3-4 students each to show off their skills in battle to be named the best cooks on campus! But...Instead of focusing on the use of lavish ingredients, our competition will represent the needs of college students. Come be a part of the audience to enjoy FREE FOOD and all the culinary creations! Or join the competition for a slice of the glory. For complete rules and to register your team for the competition please visit: http://www.tinyurl.com/ccscironchef Judged on taste, presentation, originality, and use of our top secret ingredient, the prizes are top rate! Teams must register by Tuesday, February 24th.