Second only to maybe Tom-o-Vision for sheer fun factor, the flipping of the Party Duck brings joy to all our little hearts in Mansuite. It means the agonizing 48 to 72 hours of the school week are over and that the weekend is upon us. The direction of the head serves as a physical indicator of our mental psyche: when the PartyDuck is on you’d better not be caught with a textbook. (An outward-facing duck also sets a .07 minimum average BAC for the suite)
In a world of so much grey area and uncertainty, sometimes it’s nice to be forced to make a binary distinction between raging hard or studying hard. With PartyDuck, you’ll never have to worry about justifying your alcoholism again! Calling it a duck, however, is a bit of a misnomer. Its actual taxonomic classification is a “Canada Goose”—and to the skeptics out there uncertain of the Duck’s capability: if a flock of these babies can bring down a jetliner; you bet your socks that just one can get a party started. The minute you install one you too will be asking yourself how you ever survived without an anthropomorphic, wood-carved, wall-mounted, alcoholism-inducing hinged goose.
The other day I discovered that Party Duck had a rather long and distinguished career before we adopted him. While rummaging around in the rape room I was able to uncover some old mementos from Party Duck’s younger years:
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