A Few Good Mansuite Men

Movie night got off to a late start last night, but the compelling story and magical synthesizer score kept us mostly awake. There was some confusion over which characters were which, so to clear things up I've recast the film with the members of Mansuite:

Lt. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise) - the witty/snarky lawyer who has never seen the inside of a courtroom but comes through in the end using his maverick intuition and the memory of his dead father will of course be played by Party Duck.

Lt. Sam Weinberg (Kevin Pollack) - Kaffee's sidekick with "no responsibilites whatsoever" will be played by Jordan, who is from Canada.

Col. Nathan R. Jessep (Jack Nicholson) - the badass gitmo colonel with a penchant for breaking the rules will be played by MC, our tall ass suitemate with a penchant for breaking glassware.

Lt. Cdr. JoAnne Galloway (Demi Moore) - the uptight but also kind of sexy superior to Kaffee with a stellar early 90s wardrobe will be played by Winston with his own stellar hipster wardrobe.

Capt. Jack Ross (Kevin Bacon) - the hardass prosecutor who's friends with everyone but is also vaguely evil will be played by Jason Patinkin.

Lt. Jonathan Kendrick (Kieffer Sutherland) - though it's not explicitly stated in the film, I think this no-bullshit, god-fearing, code-loving marine who plays it by the book probably lets loose every now and then with a bit of jazz drumming. Played by Tom.

Airman Cecil O'Malley and Airmen Anthony Perez - though they have no lines, they're an integral element of the defense. And they're airmen, so they will be played by Jon.

Pfc. William Santiago - the victim will be played by whoever presently occupies the rape room.

And in an unprecedented feat of acting, I will play every other character in the film.