In a row over robes

I'd like to take a moment to write about a serious problem which goes largely unnoticed outside of the robe-wearing community. It's not through any conscious apathy or uncaring on behalf of the larger disrobed majority, yet in some instances grievous issues concerning a small group should concern us all.

No one individual is responsible for the issue as it is a product of a myriad of factors. Robes are manufactured to extend below the knees to keep vulnerable areas warm. Toilets are constructed and raised off the ground¹ in order to decrease the distance between an individual and his or her business. Good intentions mark the presence of both facets, yet as they say, the road to hell is paved in good intentions.




Taken together, these features do not cooperate well with each other. The half-inch overlap almost always guarantees there will be some drag and your robe will leave the bathroom with a little more than what it entered with.

Currently, the only haphazard solution that exists is to hold the article wide open, yet such a task requires the faculty of both hands--leaving the most critical aspect of aiming up to chance and the forces of nature.

The only solutions I've considered as of yet have been supply side. The labor shortage in the bathroom can easily be met by the labor surplus in the suite, yet this will require some negative externalities such as undesirable migration.

There is an ideal outcome, but it requires a capital-intensive demand-side alternative utilizing a sledgehammer and a soldering iron. As of yet I have been unable to raise the necessary funds to procure these items. This is why community involvement is so important.

Open your hearts and your wallets. Please give generously.


¹ At least in our freedom-loving America. This isn't the norm for Charlie.